The Epic Dynasty Saga
by SoRRoW In HeR EyEs
Summary: The drama never ends. Cao Cao is a wannabe dictator who keeps taking the spotlight away from Yuan Shao. Liu Bei wants his teddy bear, and Sun Jian just wants the voices to go away. Many trials await. Read this and review please please please. :


Attention!!! I Don't own Dynasty Warriors...... *Sobs

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_Catching Those Yellow Turban Terrorists_

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There was once a terrible menace who prayed upon the souls of innocent. They

brainwashed civilians and made them their slaves, forcing them to work in

sandwich shops hours on end making sandwiches for their great, fat, ugly leader

Zhang Jiao. The fat leader forced upon the people his idea called, "The Way Of Obesity."

His evil butt monkey minions carried out his evil schemes, running across the land

hijacking horses and wagons (Because they had no airplanes to hijack.) The butt monkeys

also built numerous sandwich shops for their fat master all over the land, so wherever he

went he would have food to gourge himself with.

The Han saw these vermin as threats to their power, therefore they organized a

great, formidable army to wipe out the Yellow Turban Menace. Amoung these great

warriors were many brave men and women hoping to bring honor and glory to their

names. The Han Emporer appointed four men to take the army and bring home victory

against these foul terrorists. These men were Yuan Shao, the conceded leader who is in

love with himself; Cao Cao, a evil wannabe dictator that worships his hero Nobunaga Oda;

Liu Bei, a peace-loving hippie who loves teddy bears; and finally Sun Jian, the one who

believes everyone is out to get him.

The Heroes set up camp within the enemy territory, many trials await them............

"Forward you scum!!! Set up my Nobunaga Oda worship alter NOW!!!" Cao Cao screams

into a megaphone. He stood upon a big rock overseeing his army set up his precious altar. "I

must worship my great idol Nobunaga Oda!!! The Demon King! He shall grant me the power to

annihilate this group of terrorizing butt monkies!!! Quickly!!! Quickly!!! I need to worship!!!" he

continues to scream into his megaphone. The soilders wince at Cao Cao's endless ranting

raving. Cao Cao scans his army searching for his bodyguard Dian Wei, but he was no where

in sight. "Dian Wei??!!! Dian Wei?! Where are you?? I want my Nobunaga plushie!!! DIAN

WEI!!" Cao Cao thunders into his megaphone.

"Oh my God! When will he stop screaming into that ridiculous megaphone?!" Sun Jian

grumbles to himself while rubbing his head. "Father!! Look at what we have!!" Sun Ce yells.

Sun Jian looks over at Sun Ce and Sun Quan. They are setting up a dart board, and the

target is a life size plushie of Nobunaga Oda. Sun Jian walks over to his sons. "Why do

you have a life size plushie of Nobunaga Oda mounted to a tree?" Sun Jian asks. "Dian Wei

said we could play with it!!! Whooooooo!!!!!" Sun Ce and Sun Quan scream excitedly. Sun

Jian rolls his eyes and walks away from his shaking his head. "Oh God what did I do to

deserve sons as childish as Ce and Quan, all they ever do is play children's games..." Before

Sun Jian could finish his grumbling he heard Ce scream, "DADDY!!!" Sun Jian whirls around

and sees Sun Ce crying and beating his fists on the ground. "Daddy! Quan is being a meanie!

He called me ugly! Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!" Sun Ce cries. Sun Jian shuts his eyes and gets

into fetile position. "Why me?" Sun Jian mumbles rocking himself back and forth.

Liu Bei hears Sun Ce's crying on the other side of the camp. Wondering what all the ruckus

was, he skips like a school girl to Sun Jian's side of the camp. "We all live in a Yellow

Submarine! A Yellow Submarine! A Yellow Submarine!" Liu Bei sings loud and proud as he

skipped. As he passes by his soilders, they all join in singing the Yellow Submarine song,

dancing with eachother and tickling eachother like children. Liu Bei arrives at Sun Jian's side of

the camp. Seeing Sun Ce crying and beating his fists on the floor, and Sun Jian curled up in

fetile position, Liu Bei knows just what to do. "Attend Me!" Liu Bei cries. At his shout, Guan Yu

and Zhang Fei appear out of nowhere, standing at Liu Bei's sides. "Brothers! We must shed a

little sunshine upon the Sun Family!!" Liu Bei cries heroically. "Ready?" Zhang Fei yells. "All

together now!" Guan Yu screams. "OH I'M A GOOFY GOOBER YEAH!! YOUR A GOOFY

GOOBER YEAH!! WE'RE ALL GOOFY GOOBERS YEAH!! GOOFY GOOFY GOOBER

GOOBER YEAH!!!!!!" The brothers sing, dancing hand in hand around in a circle. Sun Ce

stopps crying, gets up off the ground and looks at his brother Quan. Then they join the

brothers in their circle of singing and dancing. "I'M A GOOFY GOOBER!!! ROCK! YOUR A

GOOFY GOOBER!!! ROCK! WE'RE ALL GOOFY GOOBERS!!!! ROCK!!!!!" They all continue

to sing together. Sun Jian stays on the ground in fetile postion, "The demons!!! The demons!!

Their after meeeeeeeeeee!!!!" Sun Jian cries over and over.

Running like hell away from the singing and dancing is Dian Wei. Dian Wei enters Yuan

Shao's side of the camp. "Yuan Shao??!! Master Yuan Shao?!" Dian Wei yells entering Yuan

Shao's tent. Yuan Shao is so startled he falls out of his hammock onto the floor. "OWWW!!

You bald slug!!! How dare you startle me 'The Great Yuan Shao' like that!!!" Yuan Shao roars.

Dian Wei runs to lend him a hand. "I'm sorry sir!!" Dian Wei says helping Yuan Shao up. "Hmph,

you should be! Well did you do what I asked you walking eyesore?!" Yuan Shao demands. Dian

Wei stands up straight and salutes Yuan Shao, "Yes Sir! I took my lord Cao Cao's Nobunaga

Oda plushie and gave it to Sun Jian's sons!" Dian Wei reports. Yuan Shao grins evily,

"Excellent! I can't wait to see Cao Cao's reaction!! Seeing that fool in panic warms the dark pit

of my soul!!! When its time to attack he won't be able to fight!! I shall take all the glory for

myself!! I! The Great Yuan Shao!!! Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!" Yuan Shao says howling

with laughter.

Outside the camp the butt monkeys are surrounding it with Zhang Jiao in the lead.

"ATTACK!!!" Zhang Jiao shrieks at his butt monkey minions. The monkeys begin to pour into the

camp, causing the soilders to run around in circles screaming for their mommies. Cao Cao stops

his ranting and raving into his megaphone and jumps down off his rock infront of the monkies.

"Halt you scum! I shall kill your souls and burn your flesh!! I will pluck out your eyeballs and feed

them to Xiahou Dun! I will rip out your guts and paint the walls in your blood!! In the name of the

great Nobunaga Oda you shall all learn to fear the Demon King's Servant CAO CAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Cao Cao screams through the megaphone at them with seething anger.

The butt monkies stop dead in their tracks in shock. Zhang Jiao drops his sandwich, his

mouth gaped open in shock and disbelief. Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Sun Ce, and Sun Quan

all stop dancing and singing; while Sun Jian jumps to his feet. Dian Wei and Yuan Shao come

running to join them. Cao Cao walks towards them menacingly, his eyes have went black.

Yuan Shao narrows his eyes and starts towards Cao Cao, angry that Cao Cao is stealing all the

glory, but Liu Bei clings to Yuan Shao's leg like a child. "NO! Don't leave me! I want my teddy!

He's Scary!!" Liu Bei whines. Yuan Shao trys to shake Liu Bei off his leg, but he won't budge.

"Get off me you miserable lout!! I must not let Cao Cao take my glory!!!! AHHHHH! Yuan Shao

screams angrily.

By the time Yuan Shao gets Liu Bei off his leg, it is too late for him join take the glory.

Cao Cao marches past the shocked butt monkies, right up to Zhang Jiao. Cao Cao bends over,

picking up Zhang Jiao's sandwich, and then smashes it right in Zhang Jiao's face. "Take this you

cremepuff!!!" Cao Cao roars smearing it all over Zhang Jiao. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! DISGRACE!! DISGRACE!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Zhang Jiao

shrieks with agony. Cao Cao then starts to dance like a maniac, "Fatty Patty!! Fatty Patty!!

Fatty Patty!! FATTY PATTY!!!!!!!" Cao Cao screams over and over. "Oh!! Woe is me!!" Zhang

Jiao shrieks, then he falls over and dies. The butt monkies then all die of heart failure.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yuan Shao screams, beating his fists on the floor. "Yay! Celebrate Celebrate!!! Cao Cao you are

my hero!!!" Liu Bei shrieks like a overly excited fan girl. "I want your autograph!!!" Sun Ce

screams. "Sign my bald spot!!!" Zhang Fei yells excitedly. Cao Cao stares blankly at everyone.

"I want my fucking plushie!!!!!!!!" Cao Cao roars into his megaphone. Dian Wei rips it off of the

tree and gives it to Cao Cao, " Here you are my lord!!" Dian Wei says. Cao Cao holds onto his

Nobunaga plushie for dear life. "Okay I'm good. Now you may all continue to worship me!" Cao

Cao exclaims. "YAY!!!!!!" Everybody cheers excitedly kissing Cao cao's feet.

Yuan Shao stands excluded from Cao Cao and his cheering fans. He is seething with anger

and jealousy. "Curse you Cao Cao!!!!! I'll get you yet!! I'll make you pay for stealing the spotlight!

I am 'The great Yuan Shao!!!!!!' You will be sorry you stole the show away from me!!" Yuan

Shao grumbles angrily to himself watching Cao Cao bask in his honor and glory. Yuan Shao's

grumbling was then interupted by Sun Jian. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! The Demons!!

Their back!!!! Ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Save me Save meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sun Jian screams with

horror, running in circles like a dog trying to bite it's tail. Yuan Shao rolls his eyes and looks

back at his nemisis Cao Cao. "I'll Get You Yet! You Wait and See You Demon Worshipping

Imbecile!!!" Yuan Shao vows to himself.

_To Be Continued...............

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Review Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! :D


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